overcoming decorating paralysis :: find your confidence
Friday, May 18, 2012 by {darlene}

Thank you for joining me and chiming in on this series: Overcoming Decorating Paralysis. You all have had such great thoughts throughout this series.

I can’t wait to hear what you have to say today!

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We have been discussing the three steps we need to take in order to identify what we truly love.

1. We need to start by accepting that our opinions can and will change. {check out this post}

2. We need to put in the work to narrow down what we love, and discover we CAN have a few definite things that define our style, {check out this post} and

3. We need to have confidence. If we have confidence in the things we truly love, we can even begin to move toward having a “signature look.”

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Well, today, we will deal with step number three: Confidence! I will be splitting this up into two posts, one will address finding confidence in your decorating, and the next will address finding your “signature look.”

Whew. I need to take a deep breath. This is a heavy topic.

Because finding confidence in your decorating is a PROCESS, and a JOURNEY. So, we are not going to arrive today. And this one post is not going to be like a Confidence-Pill for decorating.

Let’s all start off on the same foot, shall we?

1. Confidence can be built. There IS hope!

2. It REALLY helps to build your confidence if you can accurately identify what you love. So don’t skip the step of doing your Personal Style Bootcamp WORK!

3. Everyone. Everyone. struggles with Confidence. {Oh, I am fully convinced that those who appear as though they don’t struggle at all with confidence – well – they may just suffer the most from the lack of it}

4. Confident decorating is different from bold or loud decorating. Confident decorating simply means that you can identify what you love, and then, you go ahead and decorate with what you love. Confidence comes from knowing WHO WE ARE, and WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO US, and then bravely making decisions based on those truths. Despite other voices.

Do you struggle from a lack of confidence when it comes to decorating?

Do you overthink all of your decorating decisions? beat them to death?

Does the notion of “just going for it” petrify you?

Do you think about what others will think when it comes to making decisions for your home?

Do you tell yourself you are terrible at decorating?

Do you allow your style to constantly be swayed by the things OTHER people like?

These are just a few symptoms of a lack-of-confidence in decorating. Typically, if you don’t have confidence in your decorating, you tend to at least know that you don’t have confidence.

Sooo…. what to DO about it?

Well, THIS is when I realize that I have attempted to write an impossible post.

The truth is, I cannot fix this one for you. I can barely even scratch the surface.

But, I can encourage you:

Find your Confidence by:

Knowing exactly who you are.

Believing in yourself.

Loving what you love, and DON’T apologize for it.

TRUSTING yourself a little bit, for goodness sake.

And taking a risk. Go for it. just TRY.

Giving yourself permission to make mistakes.

Stop judging your space before you have had a chance to pull it all together.

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Achieving these things is a process. One that takes time, and one that takes mental editing. We must tell some of the voices in our mind to “GO PACKING!” while replacing those negative thoughts with new ones.

Below are some quotes that I love. You may not have ever thought about them in the context of decorating your home, but the truth is, your home is just another extension of yourself. Your home DOES reflect part of your personality, your psyche. So chew on these thoughts in reference to the art of decorating your home:

Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.” – Mark Twain

Don’t believe everything you think.” – unknown

You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.” – John Mason

If you wait for perfect conditions, you’ll never get anything done.” -unknown

She believed she could. So she did.” – unknown

Don’t be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try.” – unknown

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

A year from now, you will wish you had started today.” – Karen Lamb

Love some of these quotes? Write them down in your design notebook: Get yourself a gorgeous blank notebook that makes you smile and dream. {I like this journal which is refillable, and this one for its simplicity.}

And Remember:

Confidence was not built in a day.



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Beautiful basics with a twist. Shop all classic whites now at Serena & Lily.

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Labeled: beautiful thoughts, defining your style, overcome decorating paralysis


  • This is great advice. Experiment with the room. It’s just paint and fabric. You can always change the color, the drapes, the throw pillows, or the room arrangement. Have fun with it and don’t be a slave to what you read is the “in” thing in magazines. Be yourself and surround yourself with things that you like, things that feel comfortable, and things that make your heart sing.

  • It is so important not to listen to the negative! Without getting too personal (too late?), I have a negative influence in my life that consistently criticizes and unfortunately, sometimes, I listen. It’s taken me a long time to realize that it’s ok if someone else doesn’t like it and so often, we find encouragement in the most random places! I recently had a casual dinner party with 6 ladies from church. I consciously made the decision to have it even though my house is far from decorated, we need additional seating and the upstairs was a disaster. (You could barely walk through the homeschool room due to the Legos!) My intention was to encourage these ladies and I was the one who walked away so encouraged! Sorry for the lengthy post – thanks again for this series! I am thoroughly enjoying it!

  • My favorite part of this post is the section titled, “Find Your Confidence By”. I am encouraged by each of the statements that you put underneath. I want to say “Amen” to stop judging the space before you’ve had the chance to pull it all together. This is so true, even the most ugly and boring spaces can be transformed into beautiful places that you want to spend your time in.

    I also appreciate how you define what confident decorating looks like (#4). You are constantly reminding me to just go for it, if I LOVE something. Thank you for that! Trying something new that may or may not work out is WAY more fun than staying in a constant state of decorating paralysis. I should know……

    • ” I want to say “Amen” to stop judging the space before you’ve had the chance to pull it all together.”
      hmmm. Does “I hate my rug!” ring a bell?
      Thanks for your great and encouraging comment!

  • “Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.” – Mark Twain

    what a hoot! Twain nailed it.

    “Confident decorating is different from bold or loud decorating.” – Darlene, Fieldstone Hill Design

    good and subtle distinction betw bold and confident. Takes a few mistakes to get there but worth the work (and play).

    I don’t if anyone else has this problem — namely, no places to shop in their towns or flea markets to browse in. so shopping online is the alternative or waiting for once/year trips to a metro area where there are more choices. The online shopping gets pretty monotonous esp for those of us who like to touch and see items for ourselves. That tactile experience builds confidence–to be able to experience the materials at hand, not on the screen. I really think a heavy diet of the online shopping influences style and decisions.

  • Unless you are a trained interior designer (and maybe even if you are!), I think that having confidence in your own style is hard to come by. I stayed wrapped up in the latest trends and being worried about what everyone else would think for way too many years! I guess one good thing about aging is that it is usually accompanied by an increased level of confidence in your own style. This is a great series that I’ve really enjoyed following!

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