Why Georgia Luisa almost didn’t happen
Monday, November 18, 2013 by {darlene}

Why Georgia Luisa almost didn’t happen

Why Baby Number 3 almost didnt happen Fieldstone Hill Design

{A Living With Beauty: Within Post}

Sometimes in life we are called to do really hard things. Things that scare us half to death. Things that require obedience to God, when we cannot see the forest for the trees.

One Winter day, about 5 years ago, I stood in front of our bathroom mirror with hysterical tears pouring down my cheeks. I death-gripped the sides of the bathroom mirror in my hand, and I said these words out loud – to myself:

“Promise me. PROMISE ME you will NEVER do this again.

The “this” I was referring to was having a baby.**

I will never forget that promise I made to myself. Two years of postpartum depression, and a challenging 2.5 year old who rejected our new baby, and no family close by or support network close by… and I was barely BARELY making it through each day. I would go to bed at night, numb, and say, “I don’t want tomorrow.” This actually went on for two years! I tried to reach out for help in little ways, but a combination of me not accepting what help there was from others, plus a band-aid mentality from Doctors, led to a burdensome and slow recovery.

Somehow, I did make it out of that dark and hard place. But, I was left with a bad taste in my mouth. I was quite sure that this pregnancy thing was not for me… not good for me. I would say, “Some women are just champion pregnant women, and I am not one .” That second pregnancy messed with me in all kinds of ways, and when I finally realized that I was free from the awful prison of my own hormones, I would not consider going back.

Until … I started feeling a tiny nudge again.

When our second was getting close to 4, I started wrestling with the question: Is our family complete?

For the most part, I was able to ignore the nudge.

When I asked my husband, “Do you want a third?” he would simply say, “…Yes.” No pushing. He knew what I had been through. But, his answer never wavered. I know this, because I asked him about a zillion times, just waiting for him to debate it out with me. Which he never did. He just gave his gentle answer, “Yes, I want a third.”

So, for two years, I wavered. And, it wasn’t just the postpartum depression experience that held me back. Most days I was 100% convinced and satisfied that my family was done. Our days were full, and they were good and I did not have an emptiness. I had a business that was growing and a blog that was growing, and finally, I was getting to use my gifts and passions in a way that I loved. Homeschooling, boys in baseball, the freedom to do certain family outings, fixing up an old house, blogging, design boards; My minutes were filled to the brim. And with good things. I did not long for a baby.

But still… on the days when I was not 100% convinced, I sought council. I asked friends, and family, and shared my fears. Each and every conversation stuck with me, each morsel of encouragement. And… as much as I am not really a boat-rocker…. I dare to share that I got very different advice from Christians than I got from others who were not walking with God. Not sure why I am feeling prompted to share that, but it was my experience. It was fascinating to me how differently children, particularly new lives, were valued through the eyes of ones who love the Lord. His Crowning Glory.

But, finally, it was God who talked me into it.

After much wrestling, pity-partying, and selfish displays by moi {which BTW, I am still pretty dang good at.},

His words came to me in the same way they always do. A clear, quiet thought that enters my own mind as a very definitive statement. And, somehow, I just know that the thought did not come from me. The words take me by surprise and always call me out of my own selfishness. And I know that it is He who speaks to my heart. That is how it is for me.

But he did not say, “Have a third baby.”

He said, “Submit to your husband.”

Now before you all go getting your panties in a wad, if indeed you are wearing panties, and they are wadding, remember that my husband NEVER once ASKED me, “Darlene, can we have a third?” or told me, “Darlene, I think we should have a third.” The opposite. He answered my inquiries and never wavered on his answer, but there was no pushing. {there are a zillion awesome writers who address the Christian concept of submission, so dive into it if you are curious. I won’t go into it here other than to say that I actually do believe we are called to submit to our hubbies, but our men… oh our poor men, have the FAR harder calling of loving us as Christ loves the church. i.e. hang on a cross for us. See Ephesians. They are actually supposed to die for us. So, I will take my ‘submission sentence,’ thank you very much. …Which I kinda stink at, BTW, since we are being honest here}.

Submit. That was all He said. And I realized that by my husband saying “Yes, I want a third,” all these years… I realized that I held the key to his heart’s desire. That my husband needed me to make his dream come true. A dream he never once asked me to fulfill. As a loving husband, he could not just go out and get a concubine and have another baby. This was it. It was up to me to give him a gift he would not dare to ask for. And it meant I had to give up a huge chunk of me-ness.

I had to go down that road of body-image-disaster again. I had to go down that road of letting go of my own dreams for a bit. I had to back off of blogging, of cute outfits {mine at least}, of interior designing, of speaking opportunities, of recognition, of freedom, of time to myself, of me, of me, of me, of me, of me……..

In the end, I decided to obey God. And after years of saying that our family was “done,” I now have

her.

my third almost didnt happen

  …

For any of you who have been following my ridiculously Georgia-Lu-invaded Instagram stream, well, you know how I feel about this girl. And I could list the detailed answered prayers, but at the very least I should tell you that I am not struggling with postpartum depression this time around.

Our God is a God of Good.

It looks different for everyone, but; If we trust Him, and listen very carefully through His Word, and through His gentle nudging of what He says is so, and through the loving words of His faithful followers here on earth,

He will take away our Better…

and give us Best.

 

 

 

** This is my story. Thank you for your comments. Please tread lightly on the sharing of my heart. All of us have struggles; This was one of mine, and I pray that sharing it will bless others. My Word from God is not yours…. so ask Him. He will answer.

**If you struggle with having babies, I hope you hear my heart in this post as simply sharing my own story. Please know, I have not forgotten that you may be reading this and my heart is so sensitive to your pain.

 Related Posts:

What I really think about Decorating

A little story about Darlene the Opera Singer

An invitation for creative YOU to become a Master Designer
 

 

 

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I am into natural choices for my family, and this is the main way I avoided taking any medicines during pregnancy, and for our entire family after.

 

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Labeled: beautiful thoughts, Living with Beauty: Within

56 Comments

  • I have lost babies, both born and unborn. I’ve also struggled a bit with the dark places, and I think this is beautiful. THIS is what marriage is all about. This is how we reflect Christ and the Church. And I am so happy that you’ve received such a gorgeous blessing in the midst of your obedience. He is so full of grace. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  • Thank you so much for sharing this! I have been in a very similar place. After always desiring a large family I was surprised at my feelings after having #2. He was a very colicky and (still is) a high needs baby. I swore I was DONE. I also had ppd/a that went undiagnosed until he was almost 1. I felt almost ashamed of my feelings because children are a blessing from The Lord and somehow something was wrong with me for not wanting more. My husband definitely wants more and I’m just now getting to the place where having another sounds more exciting than daunting. It is so comforting to know I’m not alone in these types of feelings.

  • I know the feeling and I have been there. Our journey has been more of infertility than specifically not wanting one, but getting to the point where I was completely content with my two girls. However, in the back of my mind, there was always that thought of, “Is there more?” My youngest is 5 and we are expecting a little man this March. Thank you for sharing this. It warmed my heart and helped me to remember that, no matter what our feelings are in the matter, God is in control. The same way that we have to submit to our husbands, we also must submit to God and His will over our lives. Beautiful.

  • Dear friend…My comment is a simple one with few words….

    Best and most honest blog post ever!

    Janet xox
    The Empty Nest

  • Can I just tell you that I had a similar experience with my second — horrible post partum depression (that actually started while I was pregnant — not good) and a feeling of disconnectedness with my new baby that almost crippled me with guilt. What a horrid mom, to look at her son and feel nothing. I walked through months just being numb. Even with meds it was 6 months before I started actually feeling again instead of just faking it. Unlike you, I wanted a 3rd, but was terrified of going through all of that again. Ultimately, God took it out of my hands and gave us a surprise baby. I can’t tell you how healing it was to have her. It didn’t undo what happened before, but it closed up some of my broken places, my insecurities about my ability to love my children. God is indeed the one who makes us whole, in ways we could never anticipate. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • I had postpartum depression for 18 months after baby#3, with no family nearby to help. It was a dark time, and I felt hopeless, helpless and exhausted…not a good place to be. I ended up going on medication for a short time which really helped. Thank you for sharing your story. And your #3 is adorable…precious!

  • Being an infertile woman who would’ve gone through several world wars for a pregnancy, even with problems, stripes, polka dots, or postpartum for however long it would take…this blog post cracks me up. I’m sure it was hard for you, but even wih submission, even with your postpartum lasting, say, forever…would you still have the same up-look of God? Would you still have had Georgia had He never healed you of your depression? Just wondering.

    • Hello Kate,
      I think what you are asking is: Is God REALLY Good? Are all of His choices for us, the ones that are so terrible to us here on earth, indicative of a Good God? God has taken things away from me in this life…. big things. And even so… even though it took me years to arrive at this conclusion, I still say, God IS Good. Mysterious, confusing, and sometimes infuriating to my limited mind, but Yes… still Good.
      I would advise you though against your wording that this ‘post cracks you up.’ It is never wise to laugh at someone’s heartfelt trials and experience, whether or not they were to end in triumph or calamity. Although, I still do really appreciate your fresh and honest questioning of the goodness of God. It IS wise to ask Him questions, and not pretend that everything is Okay.

    • No, I’m not asking if God is really good. Of course, He is always good and
      His ways are always good. I just read posts like these and wonder how far obedience would extend if circumstances did not improve. Had you not gotten out of that horrible place of postpartum depression, would you have still submitted to your husband’s desire for another child? Often, we Christian women depend so much on circumstances or try to alter circumstances before we submit. I have yet to read a blog post on the net about how a woman’s world was falling apart, never calming or healing, and yet…she still submitted to her husband and to God’s will. It is a rare thing to submit. It is rarer still to not be pulled from the pit and yet still submit. That was all I was saying. My “cracks me up” comment was not meant to offend. It’s just from my perspective it is so strange to hear someone say what would be the equivalent to, “should I win the lottery today? I don’t know. I might be too tired. I will have to seek God’s will.” Dear sister…I’m so glad you had Georgia. She is “winning the lottery”, if you can bear the terrible metaphor.

  • You brave lady! I love that you can share what is for a lot of woman a shock after having a baby. I hope by the time my daughter’s generation starts having babies there is a better help and conversation. Your Georgia will appreciate these words. She is quite a doll (those big blue eyes) thank you for sharing her with all of us.

  • What a beautiful story that blessed me so much this morning. As I sit here, 15 weeks pregnant, feeling all those same fears of will my daughter loves this new baby, will I struggle with depression like last time, will I continue to struggle through being pregnant (my body does not do well with it)??? I know my answers is in Him and those fears need to be handed over to God.

    Why a sweet and precious gift she is to you and your family. It’s so hard giving up ourselves and our own desires in life to have a child. They need so much from us and especially in the first few years. I am blessed by your story, your kind words, and your openness to share your heart!

    Blessings to you friend!!!

    Kayla

  • Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! What a blessing to read. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  • I don’t know how I got here today, but thank you for your transparency! I was in the attic today looking at all the baby items I have been saving for our 2nd one, now uncertain of His Will, hubby and I still in different corners and age not on our side… wanting to just let go of this dream/vision and move on with life… Lord please have Your way.

  • I 100 Million, Gazillion % concur with you. (just call me Hyperbole Girl) ;)

    But, truly, I do, 100 Million, Gazillion % concur with you.

    I went through an incredibly similar process to yours with my third child.

    I was signed to a Christian record label and was almost finished with my 1st CD.

    I was still exhausted and overwhelmed from having an IMMENSELY difficult delivery and nursing time w/ my 2nd child, who was only 1 at the time.

    I was almost finished with my MFA in creative writing.

    I’d published extensively. Performed extensively, created ART….ART FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD…WONDERFUL ART THAT UPLIFTED PEOPLE AND ENCOURAGED PEOPLE……and yet there I was with the Spiritual calling to have another child, buttressing the same calling my husband had for a large family.

    It would rip my ministry & career to shreds. I would have to face the somewhat overwhelming pragmatics and maybe even physical horror again to have another child.

    But my heart was speaking.

    My SOUL was speaking. I believe it was a conduit through which the Holy Spirit whispered to me to seek the Truth.

    And I’m so glad I listened. My 3rd child, my little boy, is just the biggest blessing, far beyond anything we could have ever imagined. He has this huge heart that permeates everything around him….I’m not kidding! :)

    But you are right….the paradigm through which non-Believers filter their opinions are quite different from Believers….my non-Believer friends in large part thought I was insane.

    They could hardly believe I’d already had TWO kids.

    But to CHOOSE to have another one?

    They couldn’t comprehend that I’d walk away from so much “success.”

    In Washington, DC., (where we lived at the time) there is a divergent path for traditional family-oriented people who are advocates of more children….we take the path less known to pursue family over careers….the majority of folks there choose to utilize their innate abilities and “actualize” themselves rather than have multiple kids, or even a single kid.

    I never, ever want to sound judgmental. I have to trust that they are being obedient to their unique callings. But, I needed to be obedient to *my* unique callings, however “outside the box” they appeared to others.

    Obedience isn’t easy though, is it?

    The bottom line is that however much we are called to do it, and however much we intrinsically love our children, parenthood, MOTHERHOOD, is inherently difficult.

    You have experienced that first hand.

    To choose to do it yet again….knowing everything you know….having experienced everything you’e experienced…..temporarily giving up everything you have attained individualistically….

    Well, my dear, that makes you heroic.

    I kid you not. I know I’m a self-confessed Hyperbole Girl…..but the title of hero is nonetheless applicable to you.

    Oh, you amazing woman of God….you artistic genius…you sacrificial mother…..you, yes YOU, are a hero.

    Amen.

    Love/hugs/blessings,
    Lana Austin
    http://www.lanaseuropeanvintage.com

    PS And here we are 8 years later with the aforementioned “divergent thinking” 3rd child now 8. My eldest is off at college. I’m starting to see “the light at the end of the tunnel” with more time for my aesthetic life to be propelled forward…..and yet here is another maternal call….not to have another baby, but to either adopt and/or foster…..orphan care ministry (I was an orphan/foster child & know first hand the impact that can have on kids, to find loving Christian parents!)…….I’m beginning to think that my book might never get written…..or I’ll be 80 if I finish it…..because of the continual call to have more children/participate in more orphan care….wowza…..sometimes it’s all so overwhelming….sometimes I want to be selfish and “actualize my artistic self.” So, yes, I completely empathize with you and truly applaud you. Thank you for sharing your process. It mirrors my own and helps encourage us who read you!!!

  • Thank you for such an honest and open post. I had my panties in a bunch for a second, then continued to read. I think the idea of “submitting” to someone is difficult for me to handle. I am proud that I stand up for myself and my desires. That’s not to say that I will not put my feelings and desires aside for someone that has more important feelings and desires at a given time. In fact, I do that more than I probably should. I have on more than one occasion been called a “doormat”. But when it counts and I have strong feelings about something, I am proud to stand up for myself and my desires.

    That said, I wonder how you would have felt were the roles reversed. If you felt that nudge for another child for a long time and couldn’t ignore it, but every time you asked your husband, he said “No.” If it had been him that had a difficult time changing his life to meet the demands of a family and didn’t want to go back to diapers, bottles and sleepless nights. If it had been him who was depressed after the birth of a child because of the sleepless nights and increased demand for help with the other kids. Would you have continued to ignore that nudge or desire and “Submit to your husband.”

    I realize it’s all hypothetical, but I wonder in a situation like that if God might be calling someone to submit to their husband or submit to God and have another child and trust that God will help their husband see that the child is a blessing?

  • Darlene, you sweet girl, thank you for being so transparent. I hope your story will encourage others to seek help if needed or simply find comfort in a kindred soul.

    I have a 3rd child that was a complete surprise and I too struggled, but what a blessing he is to our family, as Georgia is to yours.

    Our God is a good God, indeed! He knows what we need even if we don’t.

    Thanks again for glorifying Him this day!

  • Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I have been struggling with indecisiveness about having a second baby–not 100% sure about having one, but feeling pressured to do it soon if so because I just turned 41. Then there’s the hubby who thinks I’m superwoman and can have babies when I’m 50. Maybe so, but I don’t want to.

    You inspired me to relax more about it, to let my intuition be my guide, and to be patient with my heart, mind and husband. :) Thank you.

  • This made me smile and cry…all at the same time. Thank you so, so much for sharing your heart and your story with us. I know what it is to hear God’s still voice and struggle, down to the depths, to obey. And I rejoice with you on the incredible Blessing that He has given you!! (Love those pics!) <3

  • And now I want another baby. ;-) Thanks for sharing your heart, Darlene. I struggled with the idea of #3 too, for selfish reasons: in the past I’ve battled infertility, I live with chronic pain, and truthfully my current patience with my children is at a threshold I dare not push. This is the first (and perhaps only) time I’ve opened my mind up to the thought of baby #3, which I’m sure has to do with photos of your gorgeous Georgia Luisa.

    I’m thankful postpartum depression hasn’t reared it’s unwanted head this time around for you. But if it DOES, I’m here for you. Just a phone call and a short drive away. XO.

  • …and what Carrie said in that last sentence ok?? for reals.

  • God is SO glorified in your testimony and so proud of your courage to graciously share! Rejoicing with you!!

  • sweet friend. We never know the quiet battles, the inner struggles. Thanks for a glimpse. I battle depression and it is worse with littles and no family or friends nearby to help (though they wouldn’t help even if they were near – ‘nother story). My husband is crazy supportive but doesn’t understand and doesn’t know how to help. God and essential oils bring me out of the blues when I sink too low. I miss your smile. Love the pics of the princess.

  • I am so thankful you shared YOUR story with us…I fully agree with and appreciate what you went through to come to this place of blessing…yet, Isn’t it interesting how a little word like “submission” can cause such alarm?

    It’s so sad to me that when women hear “submit” they translate that into being dominated or trampled on…weak or controlled…without the freedom to express opinion or even have an opinion! As you said, submission as God designed is actually beautiful…and you displayed that so clearly in your life lesson. When we submit, we gain more than we could ever “lose”…and, again, as you said, our husbands have the job of loving us, which is equally as hard at times…what is a better question to those who struggle with submission is “what will happen if you don’t submit…or what MIGHT happen if you do?” God promises that no matter the outcome (even when it may still include struggle), God will bring good out of it…and He is good and trustworthy, all the time.

    Thank you for your vulnerability and the words you included to be sensitive to women in different situations…Georgia is precious!!!!

  • I have been there – three times over. Our sixth almost never happened. I’m grateful, so grateful that God spoke to us, and surprised us, and we are SO blessed by our beautiful 3-yr-old. Thank you for being vulnerable. What a beautiful thing to share.

  • Love you so much. Thank you for sharing this. Thank for walking the hard path. You are a gift. And so is that Georgia girl!!
    xoxo,
    edie

  • Thank you for this post. I was gifted with two beautiful healthy children before losing two, one after the other last year. I’m terrified about the thought of losing another child and yet I am wondering whether this is it for us or if there will be more? I said to a friend at church the other day that I almost wish God would take the decision out of my hands! I just don’t know…

  • Thank you for sharing this. We have three. I thought I only wanted one. My hubby pushed for two and then I was the one who wanted a third. He is happy. I, however, would LOVE more children now. Your article, though, has given me that other perspective. If he is happy, then I must be content as well. It is something I have been working towards. Our youngest is almost 10 – so for about the last 8 years I go from being content to wanting more. LOL Thank you for sharing your heart so openly. I know that if more children are to be, than it will be God’s leading – not my desire. :-)

  • It is brave of you to share this. I also appreciate that you recognize the struggle many have of infertility and how this story might affect them. Having been in that struggle myself, I want to point out that we all have our own circumstances that we think no one understands, but if we will have the sensitivity to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we’ll find that hurt is hurt.

  • The big “O” is always so hard. But the blessing, when we finally let go of ourselves and obey the God who loves us beyond imagination, is always amazing. And my sweet friend…you get to look at that beautiful blessing everyday!!
    As one never blessed with little ones…Thanks for sharing your heart.

  • I can resonate with this post for many reasons. I had five normal, healthy pregnancies and have 5 wonderful boys. Then I had four miscarriages in a row. The last one was a second trimester loss and we found out it was a girl. The whole thing broke my heart and scared me (some things went wrong in my d & e procedure). A year later, I’m maybe getting ready to not avoid pregnancy, but I’m not sure. These last years have been difficult with disappointment after disappointment. I’m having a hard time being “ready” to try for more, but know I’ll regret it if I don’t. Anyway, I’m so happy for you and your happy ending. It encourages me, and I love how your husband waited until you were ready, and was patient. Mine has been wonderful about that too :)

  • Beautiful post about the partnership of marriage, abiding love and knowing that sometimes listening to the heart of our partner is a gift we are privileged to give our beloved. The best side benefit for you is your precious Georgia. God certainly gives good gifts. I share your joy that you heard the whisper of God.

  • Thank you for sharing this. I struggled with {undiagnosed} postpartum with my first and am now pregnant with my second, because God asked me to submit, too {I wanted to adopt; hubby wanted to try for another biological child}. Praise the Lord for no postpartum struggle for you this time! I’m praying for the same for me when this baby is born. Either way, God is good and He blesses obedience.

  • I have experienced God talking to me just the way you described and it is beautiful! I am so happy that you listened to Him! I’m going to go home and read Ephesians. Thank you for sharing your heart! :)

  • Everyone’s journey is so different. What a sweet story of grace and trust. I thought two babies ago that I was done, but The Lord had other plans for me and now I look at Tabitha and Jo and wonder what I did without their sweet smiles at our table. They’ve brought an overwhelming joy to the house, but the real joy has been in dying to self and trusting the plans God has for us.

  • Thank you for being so honest and open. Your story is very encouraging. My husband and I went through something similar, well sort of! We had 2 boys, 4 yrs & 7 months, when we found out we were pregnant with our third. Unplanned and so close to our last, we were in shock. I was riddled with depression and guilt during the pregnancy, my husband went through his afterward. We were given a beautiful baby girl whom we love with all our heart; she is a thriving 10 yr old little lady today.
    What I love most about your post, or what touched me deepest, is what you said about submitting to our husbands. I am a believer in the kind of submission God calls us wives to. But I don’t think I’ve ever heard the husbands call quite like you put it, “oh our poor men, have the FAR harder calling of loving us as Christ loves the church. i.e. hang on a cross for us.” This gives me new, and needed, perspective of what my husband is up against and what I need to be doing to ease the load for him.
    Thank you again for this post. I’m pretty sure God send these words to me!

  • Darlene, this is such an honest and real post. Your heart is so genuine. I think sometimes people fear the word submission, having a set idea of what it means. To submit to your husband, who didn’t demand or ask, as you did here was your choice which you knew would result in something positive (and how precious Georgia is!) – that kind of submission is what I think God means. To me, that’s part of love. People don’t like to think they do this, but we all submit to things in a relationship we might not necessarily do if by ourselves, that is our choice and done with and for love. Our husbands often do the same for us. To give a part of ourselves for someone else when done with love and acceptance is not weakness and it doesn’t have to be a control thing that we have to fear letting go of. The results can be…beautiful!

  • Darlene, thank you for sharing your love for this little girl and the journey it took to get to her! I am a little bit curious if you did anything with the placenta to avoid postpartum depression. My midwife is more crunchy than I am and I was not all about encapsulating my placenta, but when she explained that the drugs used to treat postpartum depression are derived from the placentas gathered in hospitals… why not just prevent it in the beginning with your own bioidentical placental hormones? I was exhausted and overwhelmed, but (thank you placenta) literally had no mood swings in those first weeks or months and it took me a while to figure out why people were asking about my emotions.

  • I could have written a story almost identical to this one. Post-partum after my second…..struggling to decide to have a third…knowing my husband wanted another. I eventually found peace with it and I, like you, am so blessed by the little darling He added to our family. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing!

  • I read this last week and it rocked my soul. My husband and I have one son. I gave birth to him in 2009 and for almost 2 years of his life I suffered with moderate to severe postpartum depression (I would say more severe). I didn’t realize until my son was crying one day that I was thinking “normal” again for the first time. It’s as if when I gave birth to him that I went on autopilot for a year and a half. I thank God that I turned down medication (my choice) and even through all the screaming and anger that I can now say that I’m a survivor. Now, when my 4 bubbly 4 year old son gets upset with me or runs to daddy I want to curl up in a ball and say “God, are you sure you want me to have more kids?” Not only will I be physically having at least one more child but God also put it on my heart when I was 5 (yes 5 years old!) to adopt children. Sometimes I wonder if I’m strong enough and what if I go through this all over again when I give birth again. Yet, even on the days when I feel it’s hard, I wouldn’t trade being a parent. The joy of his smile, his laugh, his playful imagination – I could take some tips from him (like always!). God bless you for sharing, for your heart for God, for you.

  • Sweet lady, I’m so glad you shared your story! I read it from my phone when it was published but wanted to return to comment!

    We too have a third baby that my husband prayed for :-). I always wanted three, but I envisioned three closer together. He was content with two, so I resigned myself to no more and we stopped with our two wonderful girls.

    Fast forward to 8 years later, my husband met an older wonderful Christian man who was surrounded by lots of grandchildren. And that was the day my husband came home and said, “I want another baby. I want a son. I want to be surrounded by family the rest of my life” Hahahahah, caused a minor heart attack for me since our girls were already 8 and 11. Not to mention the fact that you just can’t ask for a boy :-). And I was scared to death to have a boy since I was a girl mom :-).

    Anyway, long story short, God gave us a boy, our son who is now 13 :-). While God does not always answer our prayers the way we want, it is wonderful to walk in obedience and faith knowing He will answer and provide what is best.

    LOVE YOU GIRL! HAPPY THANKSGIVING to your home full of sweet blessings. xoxo

  • I really do understand the struggle. I have a bit of a different story.
    My husband and I tried for 8 years to have children. While seeing specialists
    A tumor was found on my ovary. I reluctantly had surgery to remove it and half
    Of my ovary. 6 weeks later I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I could
    Barely believe my eyes. The answer to my prayers was beginning to manifest.
    Almost 6 years later, we are blessed with our three wonderful children. Each time
    I found out I was pregnant, I was happy and surprised. Now, our youngest is 2 and I am facing another surgery. Which I already cancelled once because I want to follow Gods will. Some days I think there’s no way I want to start over again and I don’t know how I make it through the day sometimes. Other days I think, another little boy. I actually love being pregnant and my babies. I am stifling with knowing what God wants and being concerned for my health. The surgery I cancelled was a hysterectomy. I’m glad you listened to The Lord. I pray I can hear what He is saying. Thank you for sharing your honest story. I know it can be difficult. My story is much longer than what I told you. If you want to know the miracles God’s given me, you can check my blog which, by the way, I’ve felt inadequate to post much on. Be blessed, Leeann :)

  • Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. I love the word God spoke to you. He is so good to us…always. God continue to bless you!

  • Somehow I just now stumbled onto this post. What a beautiful and honest post. Looking at that sweet little face makes me believe you realize how blessed you are that you were listening. Thank you for this beautiful story.

  • This was simply beautiful.

  • Lately God’s really been working in me to submit to my husband, and after seeing how he blesses me when I do I realized how it is for my good and protection. I loved your post. I loved hearing how real your struggle was and how God was faithful to keep nudging you so you wouldn’t miss out on Georgia. Thank you for sharing!

  • Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I love this and I felt very led to read this. I am struggling with whether to have a third baby and whether our little family of two are complete. I had a VERY difficult 2nd pregnancy and had hypermesis. I don’t wish that on even my darkest enemies. It’s absolutely terrible and a year later after having our sweet bundle of joy I am still trying to lose the weight I’ve gained and the body image issues are so terrible…but after reading this and seeing another mom who went through hell and came out on top again…I feel better about whatever decision we make about whether or not to have a third.

  • Darlene,
    I stumbled across your blog on Pinterest, and as soon as I saw the title I knew that you would be speaking of an experience that I could totally relate to. I, too, struggled with the decision to have a third, mostly (after a lot of thought and prayer and reflection I realized) over fear of the birth itself, having had two very long and difficult labours with different complications each time, I was hesitant to experience that again. In a way you could almost say I experience post-traumatic stress over the negative birth experiences I had had. DH and I were talking about it a lot back and forth when DD#2 was around 2, and like your DH, he was more keen on the idea than I was. Then one day, I was in church praying about the decision that was still unmade, and I just had to most powerful feeling that God was sending me a message. I felt Him saying to me: “It will be OK.” And I had the most overwhelming feeling of peace. My fears about labour turned out to be unfounded; although baby #3 was two weeks late (!!) her birth was the easiest of the three, and BY FAR the most positive experience. She has been a joy to us for the past 3 1/2 years and I truly cannot imagine our family without her. Thank you for sharing your story. It touched me deeply.

  • […]  Her colors are fuchsia and red.  The inspiration was “everything global.” Rich patterns. Gold trimmings. A storied collection.I had the time of my life designing and creating this nursery for my sweet Georgia, who, for a planned third child, has been nothing other than a surprise. […]

  • Thank you so much for sharing this deeply personal story with us all. I actually found you on IG through someone else and then began following you on Pinterest and your blog. I appreciate your honesty and admire the example you are in submission even when it’s so hard. I am a newlywed (married 1.5 years now) and am working towards being a more Godly wife every day (and boy, do I fail terribly lots of times!) Thanks again!!

  • Amazing and beautiful story. Thank you for sharing!

  • Thank you so much for this. I resonate with you on so much of your story! I have 2 children and have struggled with the idea of a third for the last 3 years or so. My husband is like yours, no pushing but always answering the same “yes” when I ask. I have recently decided to go ahead with baby number 3. On the day I decided to…that night I came across your blog. Thank you so much. You put it into a different perspective for me and now I am at total peace with my decision. Thank you and God bless you.

  • This is beautiful…I’m struggling too but its your story reversed I am ready for baby #3 (not this minute but in a year or 2)but hubby is still undecided some days he’s all for it and some days he thinks maybe 2 is all we need. He has never said a definite no.

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