Overcoming Decorating Paralysis :: Permission to not change a thing - Fieldstone Hill Design
Author: {darlene}
Description: Permission to not change a thing in your home This post is a part of the popular series, Overcoming Decorating Paralysis. * * * I find myself in a challenging spot these days as it relates to all things home and all things interior design and …. actually, all sorts of other things. And it has […]
Date: 2014-12-04T15:43:46+00:00

Fieldstone Hill Design
Overcoming Decorating Paralysis :: Permission to not change a thing
Thursday, December 4, 2014 by {darlene}

# Permission to not change a thing in your home

This post is a part of the popular series, Overcoming Decorating Paralysis.

* * *

I find myself in a challenging spot these days as it relates to all things home and all things interior design and …. actually, all sorts of other things. And it has made for a quiet blog as of late.

I wish we were in my dining room together, having a cup of coffee. And sharing stories about how we long to create beautiful spaces, and yet we have this-such-obstacle, or that-such-obstacle. And I wish we were laughing about the mistakes we’ve made and how having a beautiful home means taking risks, and how living with beauty requires intentional choices.

If we WERE sitting here having coffee, this is what I would be telling you today:

### that some seasons in life catch you off guard.

{insert interruption from screaming, teething cute baby here}

### and then I would commisserate that some seasons leave you no room for fluffing your nest or putting the cherry on top.

{insert me yelling up the stairs to my boys to STOP fighting}

### and then I would share: some seasons are simply about survival.

{insert complete silence in my house, which proceeds to make me VERY nervous and cause me to get up from enjoying our coffee together to investigate}

and that is where I am today. My heart for my home is in a temporary state of survival.

I sit here with nothing extra to pour out into my home and nothing extra to pour out of my heart. Everything I have to give, I am currently pouring out into my children and my husband, and I am taking the leftovers to take care of myself.

Because at the end of the day, THESE PEOPLE are what makes this house a home. And our memories are the TRUE STUFF of living with beauty.

If you know a thing about me or about this blog, you know that I LOVE talking about real ways, and practical ways, that we can Overcome Decorating Paralysis. From finally making a decor decision, to having the guts to go for the things we love, to truly knowing our personal style.

But today, I would like to share a new lesson with you.

and with me.

Sometimes, we are NOT SUPPOSED TO OVERCOME.

Sometimes we are supposed to sit. Right where we are.

### And not. change. a. thing.

Thou shalt not overcome decorating paralysis. At least not right now.

My head has no room for it. And my brain is full. And my days are too busy.

AND THAT IS OKAY!

I have permission to not change a thing.

There WILL be time for change and decorating and fluffing later. And it will be here before we know it. And when I am ready to change, I need to remember this life of ours is all about seasons.

And I know. I know because I have a big gap between my boys and my baby girl – and I have seen how there IS time for all of this later. I know how – despite the slow minutes – the weeks and years are fast.

* * * * *

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* * *

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### EXTENDED FOR ONE MORE WEEK UNTIL DECEMBER EIGHTH:

* * * * *

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### 15 Comments

- Guerrina
  December 4, 2014 at 11:38 am

  Well said, Darlene. Many things can throw us into survival mode like the return of my son and 4 year old grandson into my home. I still have the dreams, the plans … my head wants to burst there’s so much in there that wants to be created. BUT, two boys in the house no matter the age has thrown me into being grateful when I manage to dust, vacuum, and do the dishes! It’s a miracle we have some Christmas lights up at this point! Hoping we manage the tree before Christmas Eve!

  So, all that said, you are devoting your energy in the right directions: your family and you. Do find a small spot to make time for you to breathe! Merry Christmas!

  Reply
- Heatheranne
  December 4, 2014 at 12:33 pm

  Hi Darlene! Love your post today and understand paralysis all too well. I’ve been working on my bathroom for close to a year now. I know! that’s too long to work on a small room, but there have been interruptions that I don’t need to go into right now.
  I do have to get it done!

  Also, I need to get ready for Christmas, which I haven’t even started yet. I need to make some gifts, do some shopping, some decorating, some baking and the list goes on. You know how it is.

  I understand decorating paralysis, especially at this time of year. Figuring out new ways to do vignettes with what I already have, making sure there’s enough seating and still being able to move around, are just the start of the season.

  I loved your Christmas photo cards! Have a happy, safe and healthy, holiday season. 🙂

  Reply
- m
  December 4, 2014 at 1:34 pm

  amen!!

  Reply
- Christy
  December 4, 2014 at 4:20 pm

  Amen, sister. You have my full support. This message is one that many moms at home need to hear from a professional blogger and decorator so they give themselves the freedom to read a blog and NOT do a thing during a particular season. Thanks for sharing.

  Reply
- Louise
  December 4, 2014 at 8:24 pm

  Darlene, very, very well stated! The years do fly so swiftly. So just take time to enjoy those precious little ones. I’m a 78 year old grandmother, and I cannot believe how fast our two precious daughters grew up, and now my wonderful grandchildren are likewise almost all grown up!!! Wish you a joyous and merry Christmas and God’s blessings. Louise

  Reply
- Paula
  December 4, 2014 at 8:39 pm

  Very well said and much appreciated!

  Reply
- Kayla
  December 5, 2014 at 5:25 pm

  I adore you!!! I’m right there with you friend! This has been a tough season for me too. There just isn’t the time when all my energy is focused on the littles and my own health issues. Thanks for posting this! We all need the reminder sometime and just the realization that’s it’s not just me in this season!!!

  Reply
- Jo makes m Ann
  December 5, 2014 at 10:36 pm

  Great post! I have been blessed this year and things are going well in my family. Health issues have improved with my mother and 2 job losses in our family have started to recover. I love the the Christmas season so much, but I start to get stressed the day after Thanksgiving when all my neighbors have their houses all decorated and I haven’t even put away my fall decorations. It makes me feel so inadequate. Reading your post helped so much! I was planning on decorating the outside of our house this weekend, but then my sister invited our mom and me to spend the weekend with her Christmas shopping. Of course, I said yes! That is what Christmas is all about. Not the decorations. It is about spending time with family and friends. My mom is 74 years old and I need to spend every moment I can with her. I will remember this weekend longer than I will remember what my house looked like. I need to stop comparing myself to my neighbors. Thanks for the wonderful words and Merry Christmas!

  Reply
- Dorothy
  December 7, 2014 at 2:24 pm

  Beautiful post Darlene, I’m at the same exact place right now so I can really relate. Enjoy every day to the fullest with priorities intact.

  Reply
- cheryl
  December 8, 2014 at 11:59 am

  Permission to be where we are without striving and reaching. Yes, totally support that. I’ve discovered in the past year that I’m paying way more attention to the interior landscape and this Advent season is an invitation for that quiet pilgrimage even when surrounded by lots of care-taking as a grandparent and “mother” of my own 92 year old mother. That to-do list is becoming more of a to-be list. For survival and for peace.

  Reply
- Verónica Domurat
  December 10, 2014 at 9:14 pm

  Wow great post! I needed to read something like this. I have a beautiful 3 year old and another little girl on her way in just a month!! I do need to get ready and do a lot, but the necessary, note a lo of extras. Thank you

  Reply
- april
  December 11, 2014 at 12:23 pm

  LOVE this—and needed it!
  To pinterest I go! To save the swirling gorgeousness that is bursting from within me to create, but neither time nor money allow 🙂
  Thanks for the reminder!

  Reply
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  Reply
- Polly
  November 3, 2015 at 12:45 pm

  Just read this Darlene and it is oh so true! My husband and I raised six children who were born in a ten year period. Wow I can relate to everything you said! What a whirlwind of love, joy, fun, loud, crazy-busy, demanding, exhausting, memorable, proud, family centered times those years were! Now that our youngest went off to college (two years ago) I am FINALLY turning my attention to decorating (better) our big, beautiful, turn-of-the-century Minnesota home! Reading your blog and posts about decorating paralysis hits home. I wish you well and lovely days and nights with your own precious family! When I look back now, those were THE BEST days ever and I recall the things of which you write. I loved having our family all here. These days we treasure the moments when we are all together again. Peace and happy thoughts to you Darlene and thank you for your words and the reminder of those times not so long ago!

  Reply
- Laudable Linkage | Stray Thoughts
  September 12, 2016 at 10:33 am

  […] Permission Not To Change a Thing. With all the nice photos on Pinterest and plethora of decorating and house-flipping shows, sometimes we feel a constant urge to do something to our homes. It’s certainly not wrong to redecorate or freshen things up or even do a grand remodeling. But it’s also ok not to. […]

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