In our last post of the series, we were discussing the three steps we need to take in order to identify what we truly love.
1. We need to start by accepting that our opinions can and will change.
2. We need to put in the work to narrow down what we love, and discover we CAN have a few definite things that define our style, and
3. We need to have confidence. If we have confidence in the things we truly love, we can even begin to move toward having a “signature look.”
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Today, we will be addressing the first step: accepting that our opinions can and will change.
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Now, before I go on, I wanted to mention something that is not a new concept to those who have read FHD for a while. But for review, and especially for those of you who are new readers, I want to share my main mantra about “using what you LOVE in your home:”
Do not fill your home with things you like. Fill your home with things you LOVE. { <- tweet this }
In order to accomplish this, however, you really do need to be able to identify what you love. And that is coming… the practical tips on HOW to actually identify what you love… that will be in the next post of this series, promise.
But first, lets chat about accepting a reality that can be a huge obstacle to moving forward with adding things that you LOVE to your home:
Change Happens
Yes. It does. And here is the reality as it pertains to our home decorating:
1. Some of us overdose on change.
2. Some of us hide from it.
3. Some of us are defeated by it.
Both of these extremes can cause problems when it comes to having a home filled with a beauty that reflects our very hearts.
Which one of these change-personalities do you resonate with? Which way does your pendulum swing?
1. You Overdose on Change:
In your home, you are always shaking things up. You like so many things. You are always trying something new. Revamping the mantle… the tablescape… the place settings…. the bedding. Your home is always “under construction.”
Here are some decorating challenges Change-Overdosers face:
- Never fully evolving into your own “true style,”
- the inability to rest and enjoy lasting beauty.
- You fritter away your time and resources on things that “change it up,” and don’t tend to take the time to wait for what you truly love.
- Your signature style is never realized; it becomes paralyzed
Maybe you have decided that your home will never be what you dream it could be, so you settle with every decision.
or
2. You Hide from Change:
In your home, you allow the fear of inevitable change to freeze you in your tracks. What if I don’t like it in a year? What if I waste my money? What if I change my mind? What if the colors don’t look right together?
Here are some decorating challenges Change-Fearers face:
- You have nothing on your walls
- You have bare spots all around your home
- You have 4 million paint swatches, just waiting for a decision
- Your signature style is never realized; it becomes paralyzed
The upside is that you don’t waste, but in the not-wasting, you sit frozen… never realizing your dream for a beautiful home.
or
3. You are Defeated by Change:
Your mantra is “why bother?” Thoughts like, “It will just get ruined,” or “It will just go out of style,” rule your decorating mind.
Here are some decorating challenges the Change-Deafeated face:
- Your home is not decorated… at all.
- You make every purchasing decision based on whether or not the kids or dogs will destroy it
- Things sit undone for years, waiting for the kids to grow up or the dogs to stop shedding
- Your signature style is never realized; it becomes paralyzed
You might not realize it, but this is a form of perfectionism. It’s an all or nothing approach to decorating… and you are frozen because you have accepted the “nothing” side of all or nothing.
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I have a few thoughts for us, and for our Change Issues. The “what-to-do-about-it” part:
For the Change-Overdosers:
It is fun, and creative, and exciting to keep changing things up. But watch out for the pitfalls of spending all of your time and money on “little things,” and never meeting some of your larger home goals. Also, you might need to take some time to really think about what you LOVE, and ask yourself if you have just been settling for “like.”
For the Change-Fearers:
It is good to wait on things until you find what you love… but that is just the thing. You need to put in the time to figure out what you love… and then TRUST! Trust that if you make a purchase of something you LOVE, It WILL work out. Having trust in what you love will help you overcome this paralysis.
For the Change-Deafeated:
It is so wise to accept reality, and not think that your home will be a dream. But to give up? Throw in the towel? Don’t you remember that you used to LOVE certain things? You used to find joy in the Created! You used to have an identity of your own! Invest in beauty and yourself {warning: I am NOT talking about “you deserve it,” or “it is all about you.” Those are lies that will make you unhappy! I AM talking about loving yourself enough to remember that you used to have LOVES of your own}.
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But I know I am not the only one with thoughts on this subject!
I would LOVE to hear what you think!
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What kind of Change-Personality to you have?
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What is your biggest obstacle?
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What advice do you have for our Change Issues?
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